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I think I figured out the fix. In my case I was using the vertical menu. Within the standard superfish-vertical.css file are styles for the arrow directions. I made these changes:

.sf-vertical a > .sf-sub-indicator { background-position: 0 0; }
changed to:
.sf-vertical a > .sf-sub-indicator { background-position: -10px 0; }

and

.sf-vertical li.sfHover > a > .sf-sub-indicator {background-position: -10px 0;}
changed to:
.sf-vertical li.sfHover > a > .sf-sub-indicator {background-position: 0px 0;}

My arrows are now the lighter shade when not hovered, and the brighter shade when hovered, as the original menu behaves.